I know that we're takin' chances, you told me life was a risk

So much has changed since that last post.

Mom is sober. Has been sober for months now, I think. I'm finally letting myself be proud of her, and not scared for her relapse.

I'm in my last semester of college, probably ever. I constantly have these moments of 'WTF?' when I think of how in under 4 months I'll have my MSW.

Also, I have many, too many, moments of wondering what I'm doing in social work and with social work. I find myself more often than not angry at my major. I think sometimes professors spend too much time telling and not teaching. It's hard to explain, but I just disagree with so much being said to me about "the social work way", that I wonder if this makes me wrong or just different? I'm used to different, not used to wrong.

My internship isn't something I want to do post-college. I like it, but I am certainly not in love with it. It gives me so much freedom, too much freedom. I need a pit more structure, supervision, direction. Good people, decent department, alright clients. My heart just doesn't burst at the prospect of the work.

I miss you Ireland.

Still single. Not ready to mingle. Got this whole 'spinster' thing on lock really. Spending night after night home and alone, and not upset about that. I'm just selfish and love myself a lot, I guess. I have no desire to need a companion in that sense of the word. My friends do just fine being there when I need to be a part of a couple or a group. I wonder sometimes: will that feeling ever change? Or am I just one of those people destined to do life without a permanent attachment? No complaint, just questions.

I watch too much Animal Planet. I'm dying to get a dog. That's my kinda companion.

Be strong and be well. "Suit up and show up."